Sunday, January 21
Whazzzup, Cottage Grove, MN!!
This season of American Idol kicked off with the Minneapolis auditions (whazzzzup, Minneapoluss!) to show the world that that part of the country is only successful at breeding Red Bull and Vodka drinking Saturn drivers and HOT vegan burger flippin' hippies. Take for instance Jewel Minor from Cottage Grove who thought talent by osmosis was really possible. I think she needed to sneeze.
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What is the proper ratio of Red Bull to Vodka anyway? And where can I buy a Saturn? And where can I throw out my razor blade? And where can I buy a vegan burger? I mean get a job flipping them?
I got a vicarious thrill out of that little brat who cursed and wept because he sucked so fucking hard. You've heard of "Minnesota Nice", well that's Minnesota Wuss. All too common, I'm sure you remember it.
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