Those days I spent paralyzed in the snow-lined embankment, I thought of you only, my faithful readers, wondering if I'd ever return to the warmth of the foothills. As I lay there, I thought not of death, but of dipping my frostbitten fingers into lukewarm water just to get enough feeling back to type a blog entry.
Nursed back to health by a young stray kitten -- precociously maternal one she is -- I regained enough strength to press my fingers on the keys of my notebook computer. I never felt more alive when I saw all the activity on the blog I'd missed so much. These are true fans! I thought to myself, tears welling in my defrosting eyeballs.
And all I saw were complaints.
8 comments:
You have a blog? Where is it? I know it can't be anywhere around here. This is just some random "let's talk about anything" forum.
HEY, 'Anonymous'! Homegurl is DEFROSTING!!!! Have you no heart (to go with your no-name)?
Save the complaints for when she's ALL BETTER. It's only 81 degrees farenheit today, for crying out loud!!!
Sylvia, we're so lucky to have you back... We're sorry for the pain we've caused you!
Hey, can I have the kitten?
But are we sure that Sylvia even exists? This is the internet, after all. She might be some sort of spambot. You never know. Besides, her story sounds suspicious. How did she escape being eaten by polar bears?
I was so teary-eyed reading your pity party post that I had to reply as soon as I read it.
Hope you're all thawed out by now.
Besides, the polar bears were all too busy circling my house in snow-encrusted MN ...
Ahhh.. but those are Minnesota polar bears. Southern California polar bears are so incredibly ferocious that nobody has ever reported seeing one, because anybody who does see one is Immediately eaten! The lack of polar bear sightings is proof of their ferocity.
Your logic is sound, Nannymouse. I would guess the SoCal pobears are incredibly crabby due to the frequent full-body waxes in order to deal with the heat.
Not to mention the change in diet. They can't even get to the beach to catch seals and fish most of the time (too much traffic), so they have to get by on po'bear sandwiches.
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