Hold my hand, morons, and I will take you on a wondrous tour revealing the hidden treasures of my recent
I knew that if I mentioned Hong Kong Disneyland in the title of my essay, I would surely awaken the patriotic spirit of my fellow nationals. If you thought for a second that I honestly believed the Hong Kong Disneyland’s Donald Duck waved with more genuine enthusiasm than the one born and bred in
By the way the story about the Mickey ears hat was true up to the point where I said got “Kool Moe Dee” stitched on my hat. I was really "Beyonce" for a day. Dreams really do come true at
Now, considering the entire assessment, I only named three shits that made my personal Disneyland experience shitty:
- It's a Small World was closed for maintenance. It's like going to a O.A.R. concert and not being able to see the band perform even though you can hear 'em in your head. Actually, O.A.R. is a really bad example for this because O.A.R. is a really bad band. I mentioned them because for years I have wanted to utter my public disdain for them for vexing mine ears at the turn of the century. The wonderful mechanical children of It's a Small World, however, may sing their glorious song to my grave. There shall be boats and moats at my funeral, but that's a blog entry for another day.
- The PeopleMover is gone. When something dies, you grieve for it, you bastard. How do you figure I'm favoring Hong Kong Disneyland at such a sad time? How inappropriate!
- The Submarine Voyage is also gone. Adding to insult was a five-foot "Coming Soon!" affont by a fish clown (or was it a "clown fish"?) called Nero (or was it "Nemo"?). The funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables!