And safety comes first.

Saturday, January 29

Take Advantage of YOURSELF!

I'm a motivational speaker now. When I brought it up to my boss at work, she was skeptical. She was like, "Don't take this the wrong way, but are you serious?" I said, "I like salsa music, but that doesn't make me a jokester." See, that kind of strength comes from within. The spirit drives all of you. Without a strong core, you are just mealy apple matter. The core holds it together. So when you feel like life has dealt you a really shitty hand, build a card tower, and then blow it down with one powerful breath from within like a mighty wolf. The world is full of pigs always trying to bring you down. You have to fight the powers that be. You can't let them build brick houses on your spiritual landscape, because that's your property. Put your heart and your soul first. You can do anything, but not before you know how to do it, so come see me this weekend only at the Minneapolis Radisson. Bring two friends and get a free Starbucks coffee.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, I've got a jar of that mealy apple matter stuff in my fridge -- it tastes pretty good on whole wheat with some peanut butter...

Daily Texican said...

i'm there lady.

Sarcasticboy said...

Your teeth are not white enough to be a motivational speaker. Good try, though. Come back again after you've bleach them a few times.