There are a hell of a lot of toddlers on this planet.

Toddlers are everywhere. They've come from all over town to Toddler Storytime here at the public library this Friday morning. On my day off today, I learn that life is much more than my shit job, my shit attitude, and the people who share my same shit predicament. On my day off today, I learn that there are a hell of a lot of toddlers on this planet, and their lives are shittier than mine.

I mean, look at them: they can't even wait in line to check out books without bursting into tears. And why? Because they can't read and have to sit helplessly through their parents' awful sing-song reading styles the way we big people have to sit through their sing-songy speeches at work. It's no wonder why I start dreaming about my biscuit-faced friends in Dr. Seuss books when our CEO gives her reports.

Toddlers are weak. They get tired after doing nothing. They can't even get through a passive hour of storytime without falling asleep and/or getting all crabby. I can kind of see where they're coming from, though: their strengths aren't played up and job satisfaction must be really low for them.

Toddler Storytime...HA. I say they need to stop resorting to these morningtime escapist fantasyland story hours and start confronting their troubled inner lives.