And safety comes first.

Wednesday, November 29

Experienced Tree Decorator Seeks Tree

This year I was not invited back for Christmas tree decorating at the home of a longtime acquaintance. Last year it was all light stringing and glass ornaments in Redondo Beach. Bows were also used to decorate the tree. I was thanked for my efforts. It went a little something like this: "GEE, THANKS FOR JUST TOSSING THE BOWS AT THE TREE AND HOPING THEY'D STICK."

I have to admit, I had become weary of all the meticulous ornament placing 15 minutes into it, but when he said that, I was re-energized! I immediately grabbed a fistful of red bows and slammed them into the tree like God would a powerful snowstorm. And, yes, bitch, they all stuck.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think I saw a picture of that in Crappy Holiday Home Decorating magazine. Martha Stewart was standing next to it, looking very bitter.

Sylvia C. said...

Crappy or not--I get the job done in under 5 minutes.

Anonymous said...

how sweetly sad...the holiday spirit expressed with bows that have stick 'ems.

FUCK THAT SHIT!!!!!!

Sylvia C. said...

Did I mention I decorate fake trees too?