And safety comes first.

Friday, November 30

Welcome to my newly formatted blog, FRIEND.

Mediocrity is Safe now features a refreshing modern look, delivering the same mediocre content you’ve come to expect. Notice the addition of “A Few of my Favorite Things” in the right column and navigate with relative order the disorder of my brain. Yes, that’s right: the disorder of my brain!

Now that the blog/brain correlation has been made known, any reader might ask why a person like myself would have no friends to categorize. To be quite frank, the thought of a “Friends” category would suit this blog well, and I suspect I would categorize my friends mercilessly, but alas I admit I have no friends to speak of.

Shall I make them up? Would it be a crime? Yes, a crime to mental health, for how healthy is it to submit to the mental indolence of simply drumming up a couple of bland folk to label as comrades each time I require a new “Friends” essay? The only true and honorable approach to making friends is to come face to face with real individuals and then strategically lower your own standards so that 9 out of 10 people you meet can qualify favorably in your endeavor.

We're friends, right?


Smivey said...

Love the new pulldown menu for the archives, despite its redundant title.

Sylvia said...

Redundancy keeps my blog from being great!

Anonymous said...

How 'bout if I let my cooties be friends with your cooties?

The Brit said...

Greetings, oh friendless one!

I feel your pain.

A long time ago in a land far away, a little British girl had a homework assignment to help the class learn about statistics and percentages. The assignment was to create a survey, ask all the people you know (family and friends) to answer the survey questions, then show the results as percentages.

Little British girl surveyed her mum... then her dad... then... then... then each of her stuffed animals.

She got an 'A' too!

Anonymous said...

[Ignores Sylvia.]
To the brit (who is obviously the little Britinsh girl in a transparent disguise):
And what were the stuffed animals' opinions?
There are, I think, times in every intelligent, sensible person's life when an opinion held by a stuffed animal can be as important as the company that it provides.
[Continues to ignore Sylvia.]

Sylvia said...

Little British Girl No-More (though still British), you give me a great idea for an upcoming blog post: a survey for all beings with plastic eyes only!

the brit said...

and glass eyes and button eyes?

Anonymous said...

Don't forget painted-on eyes.
And mother-of-pearl eyes.
And tin-plated metal eyes.
Not to mention eyes made from dried-out garbanzos.

the brit said...

chewed-off eyes? (and 'passed' and re-attached. Except probably not in the case of the garbanzo beans)

Anonymous said...

Chewed-off, definitely! Sometimes I feel like my eyes have been chewed off (and "passed")...
And don't forget candy eyes -- gingerbread people of the world, unite!