For Pete's sake, pick up the fork.

You see, Pete's Chinese, and he doesn't care whether you, inept chopsticks user, use chopsticks at Chinese restaurants. Please, urges Pete, don't use the chopsticks for his sake. He won't judge you for using a fork, but he will judge you for having your chopsticks stick out of your bowl as you would a spoon while you converse animatedly with your hands. Instead, rest your chopsticks on the table or on the rim of your bowl, your chopsticks, a sort of bridge leading to a harmonious multicultural society, where no one is kicked out of restaurants by insulted chefs who witnessed you douse your food with soy sauce.