And safety comes first.

Sunday, September 12

Children and the Books I'll Sell 'Em

I think all children should read books--my books. I don't claim to have any on the market now, but when I do and if you are currently nice to me, I might remember your face and let you and your kid cut to the front of the autograph line at the Mall of America's Barnes and Noble.

I advocate literacy. If your kid can't read by age 4, please get him checked out. I don't claim to be an expert on child development, but c'mon, whether your kid may or may not be able to read doesn't change the fact that I've got to peddle books for a freakin' living.

Sure, there might be one or two percent of these junior consumers (yes, even children can be consumers too!) who get violent nightmares as a result of my fun-filled stories, but rejoice, for these are the future insightful adults of America!

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